well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
