Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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