Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
