Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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