Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
