If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
