I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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