I'm laying in your front yard are you home
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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