i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
