I wish I could punch you in the face.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
