Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize