About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
