I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
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You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
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So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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