he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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