uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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