i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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