I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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