look no pants
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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