it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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