I CAN MOONWALK!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
