Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
