You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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