So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
