I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
