White coat. Heels.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize