Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
