I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
