Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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