its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
