Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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