which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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