Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
They left me at home... I'm a liability
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
