Christians are straight up FREAKS
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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