I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize