If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
