come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
