I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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