Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
