his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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