Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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