Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
