Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
