my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
