Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
