i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
sex in a hospital.. check
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
