highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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