I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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