Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
