I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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