I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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