OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
