I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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