How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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