yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
