and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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