Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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